don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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