He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
