It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
