I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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