I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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