I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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