Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
