We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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