i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
