Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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