why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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