I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
