farters have to be the big spoon...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
it's like heaven, but drunker
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
