just come out here and I will go home with you...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
