When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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