i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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