I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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