I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Pants are for mortals
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
