So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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