ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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