it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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