How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize