Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
