butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
