she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
