im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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