My nipple is on Facebook.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
