Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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