let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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