"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
