This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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