They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
