got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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