so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im holly from the hills drunk
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
