she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize