I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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