I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
