She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
