wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
someone owes me an orgasm
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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