You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
