Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
