you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
