I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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