You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
