Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I have post one night stand depression
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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