i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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