idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
