if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
