There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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