you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This baby is an asshole
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
