oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
