it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
