I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If I die, sorry about rent.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize