If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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