dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
