Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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