I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
