I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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