I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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