I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
