The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
