I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
