Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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