I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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