i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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