We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
