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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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