Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
