Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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